Conquering Fear and Taking Risks

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Seven months ago, my boyfriend asked me if I would be going for my doctorate degree. I laughed and said I was done with school. That was only seven months ago and I am already considering going back to school for that doctorate degree. I should have known. He can usually predict my future better than I can.

Maybe it’s because I am a young woman who looks like she is 18 but really I am closer to 30. There was a time in my graduate program where I was stressing out about the smallest things like the amount of comma splices in my paper. My friends thought I was going crazy over something so small, yet it meant passing or failing my final Master’s project.

When I went back into the workforce again after graduation, I began applying for all of the adjunct positions in the local colleges. My main goal is to become a professor at a college and do research within my field so I can have a better future….. This week I took a risk…. I said bye to my day job and am now staring to focus on a brighter future ahead of me. I knew what I wanted before, I just didn’t know if having a Master’s Degree alone would be good enough. Realistically, I told myself I need to put just as much work in as everyone else to get to where I want to be, if not more.

The one thing I am bad at are tests. I would rather write a 10 page paper than take a multiple choice test. That’s something I will have to complete and pass in order to get into a doctorate program. My friends all support me in my decision to keep going for what I want in life and don’t settle for anything less. I believe that it’s the fear deep down inside of me of failing is what is holding me back. In my boyfriend’s words, “You only fail if you don’t try.” The one thing I have learned in life is to never give up. Even when I wanted to work at Disneyland so badly, they kept rejecting my application. Third one was the charm and I finally got hired there. That was years ago and now that same philosophy still sticks with me to this day. To be honest, I am not sure if I am considered a millennial or in between those generations but I have heard from many of my elders that “those young people don’t know what hard work is, they think they can become a success over night.” I get it, many of us see someone become successful either through an invention, making music, writing a book, starting a business and so forth. All of that is not just handed to someone. Risks are taken, people fail and dust themselves off and try again. There was a test I took 3 times before I passed it and finally got the job I wanted.

Life is full of tests, choices- multiple choices, sometimes we have no options, other times we have endless options. If we know what we want and know what we are worth then we can make something of ourselves if we are smart about it.