Two types of people in the world

After a nice Valentine’s dinner, I suggested we go to Costco to get some churros.

While in line at the snack bar, a kind woman in front of us commented on how our chemistry was a perfect match. We looked at each other and laughed at the same time. She pointed, “No seriously, you guys are cute!”

She proceeds to the counter to order a pizza, the attendant says it would take at least 25 minutes until it is ready. The woman said not a problem. Suddenly, a man behind us cut in line, said, “Excuse me, did you just say a pizza takes 30 minutes?!?”

The attendant said, “25 minutes.” The man shook his head and said, “Oh no that’s way too long….” The kind woman in front of us told him, “It’s really not that long of a wait, I’m gonna wait.” The man said, “Well, I’m going to leave!” Then my boyfriend and I thought at the same time, “Bye Felicia!”

There are two types of people in the world. The first you rarely find now. It is the type of person to compliment you and with the ability and kindness to talk with complete strangers. One with patience and a warm smile. Then there is the type of person who prefers instant gratification and will not accept anything less.


Word of Mouth vs. Advertisements

Depending on your networking skills and abilities, you either learn about opportunities and/or awesome deals by word of mouth or simply from an advertisement.

I have personally learned the power of word of mouth from experience. This is not limited to job opportunities but also deals I could not have gotten on my own. For example:

  1. “How did you hear about us?” asked the auto insurance sales rep. “Through my boyfriend’s stepmom,” I replied.
  2. “How did you hear about this job?” asked the interviewer. “I was referred by my friend/ current employee of your company,” I replied.
  3. “How did you learn about us?” asked the plumber. “My neighbor told me how great your service and prices were,” I replied.

And for a twist I always like to ask:

  1. “How did you get your position here?”

That question usually gets answered with, “I was referred by an employee.”

As an undergraduate student, I remember there was a new professor who had to literally “try out” for his position as a teacher. During his “try out lecture,” he asked us as a class what do we think is better… asking a close friend who lives near us about job openings, or asking someone you have just met at a job fair about job openings in surrounding areas? I answered someone you just met since they may know of opportunities you have not heard of yet.

Word of mouth can have power over saying, “I saw your ad.” Knowing someone on the inside can obviously speed up things for your benefit and also lower the number of times you may get ripped off or waste your time. On the other hand, advertisements can be beneficial even if you are not looking for what they are offering. If it is a job, new restaurant or service available to the public, depending on how good the marketing team is with the advertisement, you will remember it and pass it on by word of mouth. It is a similar concept to knowing someone on the inside. For example, how many of us have got a job offer without ever actually applying for the job? Whereas, many of us on the other end, see the job posting, apply for it, and then receive an email saying the job had been filled internally or was suddenly canceled? We have most likely all experienced that and it can get annoying fast!

We are either in the loop or completely out of the loop. Whether it is job-hunting, or looking up the best deals for your money, word of mouth can be better and faster than having no connection at all.

Inevitable Mornings

Mornings are inevitable. Why does that sound like a negative thing when I say it? Probably because it goes back to when I was in middle school.

I realized the other day that as an adult, I still associate weekday mornings with fear in the pit of my stomach. Reason being, during the school day I was dealing with bullies. When I would fall asleep as a kid, I didn’t have to worry about who was going to make fun of me or try and pick a fight with me. I was comfortable and safe in my very own bed. However, I knew that once I drifted off to sleep, the morning was going to come. Although there is really no difference in the way the night sky or early morning looks other than the time on the clock, hearing the clinking of pots and pans downstairs in the kitchen and my dad clearing his throat while watching the traffic report at 4:30 a.m. let me know the inevitable morning had arrived and it was only a matter of time before my mom would wake me up and get me ready for the day.

My weekdays would consist of getting up, eating breakfast my mom made me, going to daycare, getting dropped off at school, and putting my head either facing down so I was looking at the cement ground or covering it with my hood. If those weren’t an option, I would try to find a corner or just hide in the girls bathroom before school started and during lunchtime to get away from the bullies who would spread false rumors about me and tell others not to associate themselves with me.

Getting through the day took skill and a lot of heart-pounding with every tick and tock of the clock. Once I was able to get through my day without someone picking on me I would be relieved, glaring at the clock until it hit 2:30 p.m. and then I would be able to breathe once I got to the daycare center. But I always had the fear of getting beat up the next day over something stupid that was not even my fault. This was before there were smartphones and social media, before cyberbullying. This was just pure word-of-mouth rumors that led to whispers right in front of me. This was students in my class whispering about the way my hair looked or how I had high-water pants. I knew there were certain things I could do to avoid being talked about. Asking my mom to get me new pants or cutting my hair a certain way was a start. But, other rumors and the lies were all thins out of my control. Getting home and watching TV with my dad took my mind off of the bullying but in the back of my mind, I knew it would be the same thing the very next day. I would go to sleep and await the inevitable morning.

Which brings me to me as an adult now. I don’t tolerate bullying and definitely don’t tolerate it as a Substitute Teacher, yup, funny how life works out. Perhaps becoming a Substitute Teacher was my way of trying to conquer my fear of school bullies. Although I don’t sub for middle school classes, elementary only since its less attitude and as a kid, I never had issues in elementary school. However, when mornings arrive, I still get a gut-wrenching feeling especially when I have drama at work or there is some issue that is out of my control that creates unhappiness in my life.

Many people tell me to just separate my work and personal life. Well, I cannot forget that I am a human being and  I cannot just flip a switch on and off to be jolly and free. Life isn’t perfect but it is what we make of it, that I know. Looking back at my professional life, I realize that I associate drama at work with my inner child being bullied as a kid. I guess as a kid I told myself I would never be forced to deal with being bullied as an adult. I have run away from my fears in the past, I will admit that. Thinking about it, maybe I am not a morning person like I used to be. Now, waking up when the sun is already shining through the blinds eases the anxiety that brews deep within me. I take a moment to think about how everyone is already in school or at work and extremely busy on Monday mornings across the nation. I am alone, getting my day started, taking my dog out for her morning walk, enjoying the morning (with the sun up) the way I was not able to as a kid.

Conquering Fear and Taking Risks

Image result for taking risks

Seven months ago, my boyfriend asked me if I would be going for my doctorate degree. I laughed and said I was done with school. That was only seven months ago and I am already considering going back to school for that doctorate degree. I should have known. He can usually predict my future better than I can.

Maybe it’s because I am a young woman who looks like she is 18 but really I am closer to 30. There was a time in my graduate program where I was stressing out about the smallest things like the amount of comma splices in my paper. My friends thought I was going crazy over something so small, yet it meant passing or failing my final Master’s project.

When I went back into the workforce again after graduation, I began applying for all of the adjunct positions in the local colleges. My main goal is to become a professor at a college and do research within my field so I can have a better future….. This week I took a risk…. I said bye to my day job and am now staring to focus on a brighter future ahead of me. I knew what I wanted before, I just didn’t know if having a Master’s Degree alone would be good enough. Realistically, I told myself I need to put just as much work in as everyone else to get to where I want to be, if not more.

The one thing I am bad at are tests. I would rather write a 10 page paper than take a multiple choice test. That’s something I will have to complete and pass in order to get into a doctorate program. My friends all support me in my decision to keep going for what I want in life and don’t settle for anything less. I believe that it’s the fear deep down inside of me of failing is what is holding me back. In my boyfriend’s words, “You only fail if you don’t try.” The one thing I have learned in life is to never give up. Even when I wanted to work at Disneyland so badly, they kept rejecting my application. Third one was the charm and I finally got hired there. That was years ago and now that same philosophy still sticks with me to this day. To be honest, I am not sure if I am considered a millennial or in between those generations but I have heard from many of my elders that “those young people don’t know what hard work is, they think they can become a success over night.” I get it, many of us see someone become successful either through an invention, making music, writing a book, starting a business and so forth. All of that is not just handed to someone. Risks are taken, people fail and dust themselves off and try again. There was a test I took 3 times before I passed it and finally got the job I wanted.

Life is full of tests, choices- multiple choices, sometimes we have no options, other times we have endless options. If we know what we want and know what we are worth then we can make something of ourselves if we are smart about it.

Leaving the Nest, Gummy Vitamins, and Furniture Shopping

The past couple of months have been life-changing. After I graduated from graduate school, my boyfriend and I went looking for apartments in AZ, and I got a job in Scottsdale. Not only was it the conclusion on a 7 year long-distance relationship, but it was also a great new journey we were embarking on together. It was either move to Cali or move to Phoenix. We found that with cost of living and job opportunities as variables, Phoenix was the right choice.

Leaving the Nest was the biggest change of all. As an only child, I had to make that tough decision to finally be free from the nest. I didn’t have anyone to tell me what age or what time it was most appropriate to do so, I just did it….. after my boyfriend called me one day from work asking me if moving to Phoenix during the summer would be something I’d consider…. in the middle of the summer, (I also factored in the fact that we wouldn’t have to spend weeks to months without seeing each other anymore) so I said yes.

The moment I got my job offer and we knew what day to move, we got a Uhaul and I hugged my parents goodbye.

Then the road trip began. After about 5 and a half hours of driving across the desert, I learned some things….

  1. Water is your best friend.
  2. Never take gummy vitamins with you in a Uhaul… they melted into big blobs when I dug them out of the bin. My boyfriend, “Well, you can always take little bites of it until it’s all gone.”

One of the many obstacles we came across just happened to be the fact that the leasing office was not even prepared for us on move-in day. Yup, we arrived on time and ready to move in only to find out that, “oh, your unit is not at all ready to move into yet.” If you could be in that moment with us, I would describe my boyfriend’s look as, “shit, we need to get a room and find a storage unit,” whereas with me I was thinking something along the lines of, “you don’t know who you’re messing with, we signed the lease, it’s in writing, it’s 115 out and I want a damn shower, so do what you gotta do to make this right.” Seriously, I had never sweat so much in my entire life.

It took us several hours to move everything in only because the cleaning crew and maintenance guy were in here cleaning up the mess the last tenants left. The shower still had painters tape stuck on it, the balcony still had old cardboard and a broken light fixture on it, plus the dishwasher is crap and still doesn’t work. Fortunately, we were bale to get a discount on our rent for dealing with the craziness, but it makes me wonder if anyone else has gone through something like we did.

Furniture Shopping

His dad offered to get us furniture which was more than generous of him. We first went to Ashley Furniture to get some ideas. The only idea we got there was how damn expensive it is there to get a simple couch. We ended up getting all of our furniture (couch, table and chairs) at IKEA. I never knew you could spend 4 hours in that store but we did. It was a lot to take in, and we tried pretty much every couch that appealed to our eyes. In the end, my boyfriend finished building all of the furniture at midnight on Monday morning. The craziest part was that the AC in our apartment had stopped working due to a windstorm. It has been that way since but we luckily got to borrow a portable AC for the meantime.


Growing Up As An Only Child With Etch A Sketch


I came to the realization that I am making up for things I did not have as a kid. For instance, my parents never allowed me to have a dog or TV. They were the type of parents who did not want me glued to the TV all day or playing video games. In fact, I got my first TV when I was about 23. I am still working on getting my own dog (I plan to rescue one), but that will be soon.

Because I am an only child, many people automatically assume that I always got everything I wanted. Wrong. My parents taught me the value of a dollar and the value of hard work. However, as an adult, I am doing things and wanting things that I could not do as a kid. Many of those “things” involve going traveling with my friends, attending concerts, owning a TV and lots of music, and last but not least, getting a dog. Have you ever made up for something as an adult that you could not have as a kid? I am not saying my parents were “mean” to me, not at all. They were strict and raised me right. Unlike the majority of the newer generation out there, it seems many of the kids are glued to all of the technology easily accessible to them. Everywhere I go, I usually come across a toddler, not even walking yet, playing on a phone or tablet. The closest ting I had to that was an Etch A Sketch. Remember those? The classic red plastic frame with a white board and two knobs at the bottom to create your own sketch from your pure imagination. There was no touch screen or cute characters all over the screen singing songs. We used our imagination. A $20 Etch A Sketch has now been replaced with a $600 phone or $300 tablet. I cannot even imagine what my life would have been like had the iPhone been invented a decade earlier.

Society has evolved since the iPhone came out. I was raised to walk up straight with my head facing ahead so I could see what is in front of me at all times. Now, many people walk with their heads down looking at their phones and their children are mirroring their moves. As I said earlier, I did no get everything I wanted. Even when I wanted a smart phone I had to wait until I could afford one on my own. I begged my parents for one to be like my friends, but they just gave me a simple flip phone. Thinking about it, I am glad that they did that because I know the differences between what I want and what I need.

Even as an adult, I struggle with the things I want versus the things I need. I remind myself that my hard earned money should be spent on necessities to live on rather than something that will distract me from living my life to the fullest.  I know a dog is not a necessity to my parents. However, because I never got a dog as a kid, I am going to make up for it by rescuing one and making it part of my family. I do not know what type of dog it will be or where I will find him/her, but when the day comes, I will remember that I waited long for this day to come and I will be helping an animal in need of a home.